I open my laptop, press the “on” button and am greeted but the signature sound that Apple computers make when awoken and ready to begin their duties. It’s a cheery sound, I’m guessing it sounds this way to make me excited about using my computer, but this time I am less than thrilled about doing work. Writing a blog is supposed to be therapeutic and pleasurable, right? Isn’t that why millions of people have blogs? However, I’m just not one of those people who are fascinated by the act of writing a blog. Call my “old fashioned”, but I feel it is vital for the world of communication, as well as humanity, to be able to relay one’s feelings verbally. Oh well, no matter how I slice and dice it, the blog must be completed.
I open a Word Document. The cursor blinks over a very white and very blank page. The blinking is faster than my thoughts are being created and even faster than my rhythmic breathing. Annoyance has already ensued. Pressure is mounting. Tension is building in every muscle in my body. Desperation. I stare at the screen, almost begging it to help me painlessly finish the assignment. If I were Samantha from Bewitched, I would simply wrinkle my nose and be done lickity split! But instead, I only see a glossy screen and my agitated reflection.
I look away, out the window. Bright, golden sunlight is streaming in my window through an abundance of trees and plants. I dwell upon the fact that I am lucky to have a view out of my dorm room window that is more akin to a jungle than a concrete wall or parking lot. My gaze wanders back into my room. I try to refocus and finally begin to fill the Word Document with the beginnings of my blog. A few sentences down, many to go. I need to regroup my thoughts. I glance at the pile of dirty clothes on the floor. I am then met by my stack of dirty dishes that need to be washed, and then to my bookshelf with all of the books I don’t have time to read. Feeling the stress and tension reenter by body, I look up at the ceiling and close my eyes.
I can feel that my mind know where my blog needs to go next, it’s just a matter of finding the right words. Trying to quiet and clear my mind, a song enters my head and God knows I would rather listen to my music than do anything else in the world. I shake my head, hoping the song lyrics will fall out of my ears. Someone is loudly walking up with stairs. A few people are opening and closing their doors. Another is listening to music in their room. Do these people not have work to do? It is only me who has a daunting task to complete? I turn my head away from the door to shut them out. Birds are chirping in the jungle and I can hear the cars driving on the other side of the jungle. I decide that I will reward myself my listening to the song previously stuck in my head if I finish the blog.
Time passes and words fill the page, but to me time seems to have stood still. I guess I got more wrapped up into writing my blog than I thought. Though smiling and feeling accomplished, I try to tell myself that this satisfaction comes from completing a task rather than actually enjoying writing my blog. Because after all, how could I ever conform and end up liking writing a blog when just a half and hour ago it seemed like the Devil?
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